Thoughts

"There's the whole guilt layer of hating a pregnancy symptom after you've fought through infertility to get where you are."

I had a bit of an emotional breakdown last night. I was exhausted and cranky, feeling nauseous and gagging, I was hungry but couldn't think of anything I felt like eating, I had to pee for the 95th time that day and was constipated. I just started bawling. Then because I was bawling about PREGNANCY symptoms I felt guilty and that made me bawl even more. Hormones going crazy?
Today, after taking 2 naps already before noon, I was reading through some blogs online. I came across a comment on one of the blogs (quoted above) that made me realise that what I am feeling, has been felt by others before me. I am normal. Just knowing that someone had felt the same way I felt made me feel much better. Yes I can be incredibly happy to be pregnant and love this little growing bean with all my heart, but still hate the symptoms it is causing me.

Puking

I decided to write a post on this subject because it seems to be what my life is revolving around these days. I spend my day deciding what to eat that wont make me puke, wondering if it will make me puke, wondering if the nausea is going to amount to anything, and sometimes wondering when I am going to stop puking.
They call it morning sickness, which seems to be the wrong name, I would call it all day sickness. In fact, until Friday (when I puked at school for the first time), I hadn't puked in the morning. Evenings and middle of the night still seem to be my worst times of the day.
As much as I am not enjoying this part of being pregnant, I am glad that it is happening. When I miscarried (between 10 and 11 weeks) my nausea had pretty much disappeared by week 9. This time it has gotten worse. I really hope that it is a great sign that all is well with the bean.

10 weeks pregnant

10 weeks pregnant

Your baby has tiny fingernails now and the ability to kick, swallow and move. That's quite impressive for someone who's only the size of a lipstick. That will change soon; within the next few weeks, your featherweight child should double in size. You may notice your clothes getting tighter as your uterus is now almost big enough to fill your pelvis.

The fetus is only about 1.2 inches / 3 centimetres long from crown to rump and weighs less than a sixth of an ounce / 4 grams. Even so, it's busily swallowing and kicking. Each day more minute details start to appear, such as fingernails and peach-fuzzy hair. The vital organs -- the liver, kidneys, intestines, brain, and lungs -- are fully formed and functional, while the head is almost half the length of the entire body. The forehead temporarily bulges and sits high on the head, but later will change into a more human-like feature. If you could take a look at your baby this week, you'd be able to see the clear outline of his spine. Spinal nerves stretch out from the spinal cord. Your uterus is now the size of a grapefruit.

Trouble sleeping? It's not surprising, especially if you're in and out of bed all night to go to the washroom. And when you finally do drift off to sleep, you may have strange dreams that wake you up again. Many women report vivid images during pregnancy.

First OBGYN appointment

I had my first appointment with my obgyn. I got to know her last time after the miscarriage and during the first year of TTC afterwards. She was the one who referred me to the RE. She was super excited to see me back again (this time for a good reason), and to find out that I had gotten pregnant on my first treatment cycle.
This first appointment included peeing in a cup, getting weighed, getting blood pressure taken and filling out lots of paperwork. I got asked a million and one questions. No I do NOT smoke or use drugs...
I asked her about the bleeding, and the brown spotting since then; she basically told me to stop worrying.
The good news is that I get to have another early ultrasound. I will be having one sometime in the next few weeks. I am relieved that I will get to see the bean again in a short while.

So for now I have to try to relax, not worry and wait until my ultrasound. I go back in 3 weeks for my next appointment with the obgyn.

A good read

I always try to read a few books when I am on vacation. This Christmas break I decided to read the Twilight series. I have heard much buzz lately about these books (both from adults and my Junior High students). I just finished all 4 of them, and at the end was sad there wasn't more. I was a huge Buffy fan, and enjoy reading about vampires and werewolves so I figured they might be good. Now I am feeling at a loss for what to read next. I can see a visit to Chapters will have to be on the schedual soon. Any suggestions?

9 weeks pregnant

If extreme mood swings leave you feeling like a drama queen this week, you're not alone. Hormonal fluctuations are treating your emotions like a yo-yo now. One minute you feel weepy and the next you're laughing harder than you've ever laughed before. Take comfort in knowing that those same volatile hormones are helping your baby grow. In fact, this week marks the first time your baby looks almost human. He has all the standard body parts in place now — though they're not yet perfectly formed.

you may find yourself riding pregnancy's emotional roller coaster, feeling moody one day and joyful the next. Disturbing as this is to some women who pride themselves on being in control, what you're going through is normal and will probably continue throughout your pregnancy. Up-and-down emotions are partly caused by raging hormones.

At week's end, your fetus measures approximately 0.9 inches / 2.3 centimetres long. In both shape and size, it resembles a peapod and weighs less than a tenth of an ounce / 2 grams. The eyelids are fused and won't open until week 27. The wrists are more developed, ankles have formed, and the fingers and toes are clearly visible. Arms are growing longer and bend at the elbows. By week's end, the inner workings of the ears are complete. Though you can't yet identify the sex of the fetus by ultrasound, its genitals have begun to form. By now the placenta has developed enough to support most of the critical job of producing hormones.

What the experts say...

Knock on wood the bleeding seems to have stopped (It was only there for an hour or so). I have occasional brown spotting (old blood), but nothing red. Of course I googled about this and found all sorts of scary information as well as reassuring stuff. I got my weekly update today and there was an article attached about this exact same thing. Here is what the experts have to say:

Bleeding in early pregnancy is always worrying, but it's also surprisingly common. There can be several possible reasons.
In the very early stages of pregnancy, as the fertilized egg implants there can be a day or two of light bleeding.
Later, as the placenta embeds in the uterine lining, it causes slight bleeding. Sometimes a woman will experience 'breakthrough' bleeding.
Pregnancy hormones cover up a woman's usual hormonal cycle, but variations in those normal cycles still go on. Some women notice bleeding at around the time they would usually have had a period as a result of this 'background' variation in hormonal levels.
And occasionally women will experience a cervical erosion (a softening of the cervix), which can cause bleeding in early pregnancy.
Bleeding can also be associated with a vaginal or cervical infection or a polyp (a benign growth) and can also occur after intercourse.
Sometimes it's not possible to decide what has actually caused minor bleeding.